idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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