my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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