When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I have post one night stand depression
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
