Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
