There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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