What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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