We're like a lot better than the average bears
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
