do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
