look no pants
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
so much tequila, so little girl.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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