In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
