That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
