At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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