he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize