ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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