There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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