They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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