Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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