WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
