She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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