dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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