i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I've blown a few things in my day
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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