So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
