Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
