it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
