i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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