but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
