Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
