I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Randomize
