This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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