what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My pussy is not your playground.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"