some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Enjoy the penises