How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.