yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We left an ass print on the piano.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
my god I love twenty year old dicks