The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
