Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
