I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
