New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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