i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
