You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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