similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
