you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
