so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
