im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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