16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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