Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
