come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
