if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
