there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
