the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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