its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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