I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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