Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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