I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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