You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
why is half of my head shaved?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
