Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
