You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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