I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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