idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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