I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
