My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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