hotel room ftw
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As shirtless as possible
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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