If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
