Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
