i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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