Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
