dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
