I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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