sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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