He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
